Hi there!
I’m Becca, a Christian writer and self-identifying “recovering perfectionist” obsessed with traveling, pictures, and my husband—taking pictures with my husband while traveling brings me pure joy! My passion for encouraging others has propelled me into this obscure world of blogging. To understand my personal journey toward thriving, you must know how it all began—at the start of a new decade, my long-awaited thirtieth birthday.
The Terror of the Big 3-0
When I was in my early twenties, I remember my hairdresser telling me about her upcoming thirtieth birthday. The displeasure in her voice amused me as she jokingly mentioned that she planned to wear all black to mourn the occasion. I remember thinking how dramatic she was acting about turning thirty. It was just a milestone birthday, after all, nothing to get depressed about.
Then I turned thirty.
I never expected my thirtieth to be a big deal, but the year I turned twenty-nine something inside me changed. I became apprehensive about the milestone, terrified of its significance, nervous about the responsibility it held in being a competent adult. Honestly, I had no reason to be anxious for this birthday (age is just a number, right?), yet something inside me trembled with worry.
It’s not that I thought turning thirty was old, I just believed that being thirty was mature. It felt like reaching official adult status, almost as if there was no turning back now! I thought that I would be expected to become a competent, assured, self-sufficient woman who knew her goals, achieved her dreams, and stood confidently in the face of any adversity. Even though I had accomplished a great deal in my twenties, I was nervous that the compassion to take my time and figure life out would evaporate with the doomed beginning of my thirties.
My twenties were a HUGE decade for me:
I went to college, an unimaginable dream.
I graduated from college with highest honors, an absolutely incredible achievement!
I married my high school sweetheart—our wedding day was a literal dream come true.
My husband and I moved to a different state where we knew no one and established our newlywed life together—truly the adventure of a lifetime!
I went through multiple testing roadblocks before receiving my Michigan teaching certificate, which I finally passed by taking the SAT; I’m still bitter about it.
I received my dream job teaching first grade at a private school.
My husband and I became involved with an incredible ministry for children in the foster care system, and we even directed the program for two years.
With all the good that came from such an inspiring decade of my life, I couldn’t imagine how my thirties could be any better! I thought that maybe I was in for some serious misery after all the happiness of my twenties, and I began to mourn its dreams, accomplishments, and treasured memories. Anxiety consumed my soul as I anticipated what lay ahead in this new decade of my thirties…
In My Thirties Era
Turning thirty was an epic celebration—of course, I wore some black to commemorate the occasion. Several weeks after my birthday, my husband and I took an unbelievable vacation to Maui, Hawaii; we’re exactly twenty days apart, so it was the perfect thirtieth birthday present for us both!
After a relaxing time strolling around the quaint town of Lahaina, taking scenic drives along the twisting mountainside roads, napping and basking in the Hawaiian sunshine, eating amazingly fresh seafood, and drinking plenty of Mai Tais, my soul hoped that this experience had set the standard for an incredible decade ahead.
Unfortunately, even as I accepted the fate of my age, my soul continued to feel emotionally distressed. The anxiety I was experiencing wasn’t only caused by this grand milestone birthday but also by, as Moira Rose would say, the “cornucopia of trauma” from my past.
During the last few years in my twenties, I went through personal struggles of anxiety, fear, panic, depression, and disappointment. The weight of such disparaging internal pressure began to suffocate my spirit, and soon lost sight of myself. When I finally paused to evaluate my emotional health (or lack thereof), I recognized that the trauma from my childhood had a greater hold on my mental and emotional well-being than I realized, and the weight of responsibility and expectation of my adulting life was causing the damage from my past to entirely crush my soul.
Three months after my momentous birthday, I began a therapeutic journey toward soul recovery. I wasn’t exactly sure how to restore my soul, but I knew that the Lord did. I began taking practical steps to maintain a healthy lifestyle for my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being by implementing daily exercise routines, healthy eating habits, self-reflection practices, and devotional quality time. It took a lot of time and effort to make any progress, but gradually, I felt the weight of my burdens released within my soul.
During this recovery journey, I began writing my memoir (a project that I’m super excited to share more about soon!). As I reflected on childhood memories and teenage struggles, processed the academic and career obstacles of my early adulthood, and analyzed my personal beliefs, I began to recognize the emotional turmoil, mental habits, and learned behaviors I had acquired throughout my life—patterns of fear, stress, and anxiety that affected the way I handled circumstances and influenced the way I saw myself.
The most life-changing therapy I’ve personally experienced has been through extensive introspection while writing my memoir. I believe there’s a place for professional help with every health issue (my therapist was a lifesaver during the fourteen months she supported me), but I also recognize the part that we, our own selves, play in guaranteeing a healthy recovery. Therapy can be a scary word, one that people either laugh at, shrug off, or entirely avoid. People have differing opinions of what therapy is or should be. Some consider it worthwhile and others think it’s not worth it at all. To be honest, many people resist therapy because of the vulnerability required to face their fears and acknowledge their painful pasts. Because my mental and emotional health was deeply rooted in the trauma of my past, I could never attain true restoration and healing until I chose to return to those places of grief, heartbreak, and defeat, viewing my life through the lens of acceptance instead of regret. Introspection has been a powerful practice for me to identify my problems, accept my quirks, and embrace the goodness of God in my life. I’ve realized that to truly thrive in life, I must learn to face hard things, recover from my past, and believe in myself again.
Go Tell It on the Mountain
“…you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.” ~ 1 Peter 2:9
I believe that telling our stories is one of the most powerful and empowering opportunities we have as humans. Through personal conversations, intentional connections, and authentic communication we can relate, understand, support, and care for one another. It is by sharing our life’s wisdom and advice that we learn, grow, heal, and evolve. When we associate meaningful and inspirational lessons from someone else’s story with our own, we experience genuine connection and realize this significant revelation: we’re not alone.
“When you get real about your life, it helps others know that they are free to be who they really are too. Authenticity cultivates true connection.” ~ Hosanna Wong
THIS. This is the purpose of my thirties, to share my story and connect with people—people like you. I want my testimony and the lessons I’m learning to resonate with you, encourage your soul, and empower you to thrive in life! Personally, I love to learn from others. I value experienced insight, new perspectives, and wise advice. Discovering the perseverance, tenacity, and resilience in other people’s stories motivates me to continue fighting—for myself and for what I believe in. Doubt and self-sabotage always creep into my confidence, but nothing can disprove my belief that God wants me to tell my story and share my thoughts with you.
We’re All in this Together
Thriving Thoughts is where I will express my thoughts, opinions, and advice about random questions I often contemplate and lessons that I’ve discovered while on this soul-recovery journey. I will share pieces of my personal story and explain what I’ve learned along the way. When you read my blog, my hope is for you to feel connected, encouraged, valued, and affirmed. I don’t have all the answers, but I know that as I share the details of my personal journey, we will each learn, grow, and THRIVE!
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11
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