As I think about the importance of telling our stories, I’m reminded of the simple phrase “sharing is caring”. When I taught preschool, my students often recited this common phrase during social dilemmas with their peers (it was mostly used by students who were older siblings and had to learn the lesson of sharing frequently). For my preschoolers, “sharing is caring” was a mantra meant to encourage the selfless act of giving something away to someone else who really wanted it. Although the action of sharing is more complex than just saying this simple phrase, the truth of the matter remains: when we share, we really do show how much we care.
Influence
One definition of care in the Merriam-Webster dictionary is described as:
a feeling of interest or concern.
I believe that our level of honesty with people reveals how interested or concerned we are in pursuing genuine connections. Many conversations in life are filled with superficial topics and insignificant matters, like the predictability of the weather or analyzing a favorite TV show. Although this is part of our social norm, it’s important for us to think about the impact our relationships have on one another, especially with those we genuinely care about. When we invest in authentic connections, we lower our guard and intentionally put ourselves in a vulnerable place to support one another. When we tell our personal stories, it provides an opportunity for us to inspire each other, share life lessons, and encourage one another. No matter what we’ve experienced in life, whether our stories are similar or drastically different, there’s a powerful connection between human souls when we can sympathize, empathize, and identify with one another through the sharing of our stories.
Lately, I’ve been reading quite a few memoirs and personal growth books, like Educated by Tara Westover, The Lord is My Courage by K.J. Ramsey, and Between Two Kingdoms by Suleika Jaouad. These kinds of non-fiction titles excite me as I learn about other people’s lives and perspectives, gleaning wisdom from their experienced advice. What I appreciate
the most about these books is the emotional connection I have between the author’s story and my own life. Even though an author’s personal experiences never perfectly mirror my life, the depictions of hardship, triumph, and self-discovery are what help me relate to their story and find inspiration in my own journey. The level of transparency, care, and sincerity each author creates in the telling of their stories validates my personal feelings of grief, gratitude, pain, healing, despair, and joy. Even though these authors are virtually strangers to me, the authenticity of their writing makes me feel like they really care, that if I met them in person, they’d give me a compassionate smile, a loving hug, and with a gentle nod of their head, express their appreciation of our genuine connection.
Impact
Maybe it’s because of the life experiences I’ve recently had or the history of my past trauma, but whatever the reason, I have a strong connection with stories of resiliency, survival, restoration, and triumph. Instances when people have faced incredible adversity and somehow recovered from demoralizing defeat are the circumstances I connect with the most. It takes a lot of courage to talk about hard situations, the parts of our stories when we’ve been hurt, ashamed, afraid, or discouraged. Yet, I’m learning that those dark, frustrating, and sorrow-filled moments are the very parts of our stories that can unlock healing in our own lives and freedom in other peoples’ lives, too. When we face the difficult parts of our lives and bravely accept their pain and heartache, we become an example for others to find the courage they need to overcome their own personal hardships, too. I believe that when we choose to tell the hard parts of our stories, this crucial message is communicated to others:
they’re not alone.
Inspire
Personal life stories are simply that—personal. We all have chapters in our lives full of private details that aren’t anyone’s business except our own. And sometimes, those chapters end in such heartache or disappointment that we simply don’t want to talk about them. Other times, those difficult chapters are still being written as we trudge through their dark and bleak pages, not yet knowing what story we’ll have to share at its grave conclusion. These moments often feel too heavy to process, too emotionally triggering to share, or simply too damaging to even acknowledge. When we’re still experiencing hard circumstances or recovering from difficult situations, that’s the time when our part of connection isn’t in the telling of our stories, but in the listening of other peoples’ journeys.
Telling our stories should always be done in a safe environment and on our own terms. If we’re not yet ready to share about our life’s journeys, we must give ourselves grace as we listen and learn from other peoples’ stories. The connection created through transparency and vulnerability influences a level of trust, care, support, and encouragement to those listening to our testimonies. When we choose to learn from someone else’s life lessons, hearing their perspective with an open heart, we can find hope and inspiration to keep moving forward in our own lives. I believe that we’re truly better together, that when we connect on an emotionally intellectual level, our stories have even more power to impact, influence, and inspire each other. When we go through hard times, our connections can be the very anchor our souls need to survive life’s challenges.
As I think about the significance of sharing and caring, I’m reminded of Bill Withers’ classic hit Lean on Me:
“Lean on me
When you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on...”
Whether we’re the one sharing our stories and supporting someone’s load or we’re the one leaning on someone else and listening to their testimony of encouragement, our connections with each other matter! I believe that genuine relationships are imperative to life’s fulfillment and satisfaction. Without telling our stories and hearing each other’s testimonies, we miss out on fundamental lessons, connections that can truly make an incredible difference in each of our lives.
“One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through and it will become someone else’s survival guide.” ~ Brene Brown
The Power of a Testimony
When I was fifteen, I signed up to go on my first mission trip to Mexico with a small team from my church. In preparation for the trip, each team member wrote their personal testimony about their salvation story—the moment when Jesus was invited into each of our hearts and we became Christians. These salvation testimonies were important when evangelizing to the local community by sharing personal examples of Christ’s love and saving grace.
At this time in my teenage years, I was experiencing a lot of change, trying to discover myself and understand the intricacies of purpose, acceptance, and self-worth. I grew-up going to church and had a personal relationship with Christ since I was three, so the testimony of my salvation felt inadequate compared to the stories of my fellow team members. Many of the salvation testimonies shared amongst my team included their experience learning about Christ for the first time or the miraculous deliverance from an addiction or unfortunate circumstance. For me, God was always a part of my life, no desperate saving grace necessary to rescue my innocent three-year-old soul. As I listened to these life-changing salvation stories, I became disappointed in my own testimony, grieved by the lack of deliverance my salvation had required. At fifteen years old, I was so caught up in the story of my salvation that I never considered how other circumstances in my life could be a testimony of God’s faithfulness, too.
Currently, I’m going through a time of mental growth and emotional healing, where I’m learning the importance of processing every facet of my story—the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful. As I reflect on my life’s testimony, not focusing on the precise moment of my salvation but considering everything that the Lord has faithfully walked me through, I am beginning to understand the true power of redemption. My salvation may not have been a profound transformation, but the work God has done in my life since that moment has certainly been life-changing!
I believe that our testimonies are more than just our salvation stories. Personal testimonies happen in every moment of our lives when we rely on the Lord’s strength, love, and faithfulness to positively impact our situations. The message of our testimonies can often be shared as life lessons, explaining the significance of those moments when God met us right where we were and changed our lives for good. When we view our lives as examples of the Lord’s redemptive work, the focus is no longer placed on one singular moment of salvation, but on the empowering act of God’s compassion and faithfulness throughout every moment of our lives. The principle truth of any testimony is simply to keep pointing back to the goodness of Jesus.
“Give thanks to the LORD and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done.” 1 Chronicles 16:8 NLT
Healing Through Your Story
Before we can effectively share our testimonies or glean wisdom from other peoples’ journeys, we must face the reality of our own stories. When we get real, honest, and uncomfortable with ourselves, we’re able to process every intimate detail of our pasts and discover the redemptive message of our testimonies. Taking time to reflect on the intricacies of our lives—the heartaches, triumphs, joys, and defeats—helps us understand ourselves better and recognize how each moment in our life has defined who we’ve become.
When we’ve gone through hard things in life—trauma, neglect, hurt, devastation, grief, distress— and work toward healing from them, it’s important not to disqualify those moments as if they never happened. Finding true restoration in our souls requires grace-filled acceptance of everything we’ve been through. When we can reflect on the hard moments of our pasts, not dwelling on the negativity but simply acknowledging them for what they really are—unfortunate, inexcusable, harrowing experiences—and release the emotional burden we so often adhere ourselves to, we will be able to pursue a healthy future. The pain of our pasts is not meant to be carried with us, but is meant to be a catalyst toward healing, growth, and recovery.
Looking back at our pasts and processing life’s circumstances is the hardest, most rewarding work we can ever do for ourselves. Allowing ourselves to revisit past moments and feel through each memory can be emotionally triggering and mentally exhausting. Yet, finding the courage to face our fears, accept our shortcomings, and process life’s most difficult moments is the most therapeutic and freeing thing we can do for the wellbeing of our souls. When we can finally move through our hurt and shame and see the positive light in our testimonies, we can courageously share our stories and make a difference in each other’s lives.
“It’s difficult, but it’s the kind of difficult I have pride in.” Jennette McCurdy
Caring & Sharing
I truly believe that the most powerful and empowering thing we can do as humans is to share our stories. When we choose to tell our stories—whether it’s the cliff notes version or the entire novel—we give away a piece of ourselves in hopes of positively influencing someone else’s life.
The opportunity to share and care starts with us. Telling our stories and sharing our testimonies is a privilege, one that we should not take for granted. Although many of us may not have the desire to publicly share our personal journeys and intimate life lessons, we each can encourage and inspire people in our own personal lives. The power of sharing isn’t in the extensive audience listening, but in the genuine connections created.
Maybe you have a large group of friends, maybe you only have a few besties.
Maybe you are part of a huge family, maybe it’s just you and a parent.
Maybe you have a huge social media following, maybe you barely have twenty followers.
No matter what your circle of influence looks like, having the confidence and courage to share your journey matters! Your testimony is unique, something only you can share, and when you choose to tell it, your testimony can truly make all the difference.
Here’s my challenge to you: This week, how can you share your story and show someone that you care?
Maybe you can relate to someone’s distress over finding that work-life balance and talk about your own experience.
Maybe you’ve been blessed after a lot of heartache and can encourage a friend during their time of doubt and discouragement.
Maybe you need to reflect on life and face the truths of your past, finding the hope and love of Christ amidst the heartache.
Whatever you can do to be real, honest, and genuine, DO IT. Whether you share a piece of your story, tidbits of the wisdom you’ve learned, or tell your entire testimony, SHARE IT. Use this moment to make an intentional effort to tell your story because it matters.
“As you share what you are really going through, you will show the proof of how a real Savior and a real Rescuer can be with people in the messy mud of their lives.” Hosanna Wong
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