"But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." 1 Corinthians 6:11
I don’t know about you, but I struggle with my self-worth a lot. I critique everything I do, say, think, and feel, and I constantly worry if my efforts, actions, and intentions are good enough. When it comes to my writing, I’ve had to overcome a lot of doubt and insecurity. Some days, I believe the Lord has called me to share my story and encourage others. But other days, I feel simply worthless, like everything I’m writing is pointless.
Capturing my thoughts and cultivating a growth mindset* isn’t an easy solution to boost my confidence. The battle of positive thinking is much more complicated than simply talking myself out of despair. It takes constant intention to believe the truth, especially amid mental wars of depreciation and disbelief.
Note: I’m going to be vulnerable and honest here. This next section includes quotes from my personal journal and the reality of my low self-esteem. I’m not ashamed to share my story because I believe the difficult emotions I struggle with are troubles other people deal with, too. I believe that when we are authentically real with each other, we can support, encourage, and validate the circumstances that we’re each facing. By telling our stories*, we learn, grow, heal, and thrive together.
*To read more about the power of your thoughts and the importance of sharing your story, read my previous posts linked below.
Confronting Lies, Restoring Truth
“How we feel shapes how we think, and once we believe our thoughts are true, our actions take us in whatever direction our beliefs lead them.” ~ Nona Jones
A few weeks ago, I was stuck in a pit of anxiety. Although I know the biblical truths that could have helped relieve my internal worries, I couldn’t bring my distraught spirit to believe in them. At that time, I journaled this entry:
“Lord, my thoughts are getting the better of me. I’ve been struggling to write this week, it’s been taking so much time, and last night I simply broke. Anxiety was gnawing away at my gut… I really am worthless and undeserving… I’m kidding myself to think that I’m actually worth it. I’m a mistake and always will be…”
During this emotional breakdown, I glanced at a book lying on the couch (“Killing Comparison” by Nona Jones), and I read the subtitle: “Reject the lie you aren’t enough.” Instantly, I thought: but what if it’s not a lie?
What I love the most about God--besides His unmerited grace, unconditional love, and proven faithfulness--is that He will always meet you right where you are. As I continued journaling disparaging feelings about myself, the Lord quickened my spirit and spoke this to my heart:
“You can’t fix it, Rebecca, but I can…You are worthy and valuable to Me… Do not identify with what the Enemy thinks of you, but believe in what I say about you, for I am the One who created you! I believe in you. You are worth it. You are enough…”
Even though I knew what I was believing and proclaiming over myself was wrong, God was gracious and kind enough to stop me in my tracks of negativity and remind me of my worth. Although His encouragement didn't bring immediate deliverance from my internal demise, it was the stepping stone to help me redirect my thoughts and renew my mind of the toxins of depression and stress.
The lessons I’m about to share are ones that I’m still learning (and currently practicing). Although they might sound simple, these habits have significantly clarified my negative self-view and begun to improve my perspective of self-worth (a cycle I find to be continuous as I heal and grow).
1. Accepting Myself
“The experiences I have affect the perceptions I form. The perceptions I form eventually become the beliefs I carry. The beliefs I carry determine what I see.” ~ Lysa TerKeurst
The first habit I must practice is accepting myself—flaws and all. Personally, I can get so caught up in degrading my downfalls and mistakes. I tend to expect perfection from myself to compensate for my imperfections and weaknesses. I subconsciously think that if I want to earn people’s approval or be worthy of God’s blessings, I must live an impeccable life where no mistakes, spills, or accidents happen.
However, mishaps and failures are a part of being human! James 3:2 states, “Indeed, we all make many mistakes…”, and Ecclesiastes 7:20 says, “Not a single person on earth is always good and never sins.” When I choose to accept myself for who I am, not ridicule my flaws or mistakes but acknowledge that they’re part of life, I can see the positive qualities of my personality and appreciate the good choices I make. Remembering that I wasn’t created to be perfect helps me have grace and patience with myself.
It’s not always easy to look past my imperfections and realize that I am worthy of good things, but I know that it's important to believe in myself. When I see my self-image—physically and emotionally—in a positive light, my attitude shifts. I feel more at ease in stressful moments and am more confident. Remembering that I’m not made worthy because of perfect behavior or faultless choices but by the influence of my salvation in Christ helps me release my expectations of perfection into the loving hands of my Savior.
Self-acceptance is self-improvement.
2. Remembering God’s Truth
The second habit I must practice is remembering the truth of God’s Word. Sometimes it’s hard to acknowledge the good that God has pronounced over my life, especially when I’m in a pit of despair or anxiety. When I can’t seem to find peace or am struggling with depression, reciting impactful scriptures can help renew my mind and spirit.
Here are four pertinent verses I try to rely on:
“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love…” Romans 8:38
Knowing that nothing will separate us from God’s love, no matter what we do or how we feel, can change everything.
“…’Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.’” Isaiah 43:1
Realizing that despite our attitudes, quirks, mistakes, or failures, God chose us, summoned us by name, and declared that we are His beloved, helps validate our true self-worth.
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10
This scripture reminds me of the value of our lives. We are handmade by God. Our lives are not a mistake; our existence is not an accident. He created us with intention and predestined plans for each of us to do through His handcrafted purpose for our lives.
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
Relying on the end of this verse, that God will never leave or forsake us is a truth I cling to often. Knowing that no matter where we are in life, the Lord is always with us, and no matter what happens, He will never abandon us. This helps me realize how important we are to Him.
Although these verses are imperative and encouraging, they don’t always bring comfort or resolution when I'm distressed. I’m learning that even when I don’t want to recite scripture or struggle to believe in the promises of God’s Word, I need to proclaim biblical truths over my life. The power of positive words makes a difference, and even if it’s not an immediate cure, filling my heart with love, hope, truth, and promise will eventually transform my thoughts and breathe life into my grieved spirit.
*Note: If you struggle with depression and anxiety, sometimes positive words aren't enough. Sometimes we need professional care, a supportive venting session, or practical exercises to help us improve our mental health. Feeling like you need more than a memory verse to alleviate your distress is okay. As long as we believe in the promises of scripture, God can use any avenue to restore our lives.
3. The Value of Salvation
“The Enemy wants you to believe that because of something you’ve done in the past, it forever disqualifies you from being used by God in the future…You are not defined by what you did. You are defined by what Jesus did for you.” ~ Hosanna Wong
The last habit I must practice is remembering my value in Christ. Ephesians 1:4-5 says, “Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.”
From the beginning, God wanted to be a part of our lives. When we accept Christ into our hearts and invest in a personal relationship with God, He is overjoyed because He loves us* and wants to have a relationship with us! God didn’t just create us and plan our futures to have us live without His presence. He intentionally created us and desires to walk alongside us throughout every moment of our lives.
The significance of salvation isn’t linked to our personal value being created by God; it is what gives us the privilege of being in a relationship with Him. Our salvation completes us in Christ's image as we get to know God and learn to love, trust, and obey just like Jesus did.
Salvation also allows us to receive God’s mercy, grace, love, hope, and peace. Romans 5:1- 2 states, “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God.”
Being justified through faith in Christ provides everything we need to correct our thoughts, improve our beliefs, and help us live thriving lives. When we embrace our worth through salvation, we open our hearts to believe the truth of scripture and know that God has made us worthy.
*To read more about God's love for us, read my previous post linked below.
Moving Forward
I believe these practices are essential. But in those moments of despair, they rarely feel like enough. However, I’m learning that it’s not about these habits being the answer to solving my problems; it's about my intention to practice them and let them positively transform my mind.
Jesus reminds us in John 16:33 that “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” When we face troubles, God will be faithful to see us through. It’s important for us to choose God’s truth even when it feels impossible because Jesus says in John 8:31-32, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Being in a relationship with Christ and believing the promises of God’s Word can truly set us free. We must choose to believe and trust even when it’s hard or we don’t feel like it.
Whatever you need today, let God fill your heart with His lovingkindness. If you don’t
feel it, proclaim it over your life anyway. And let me tell you:
you are worthy,
you are valuable,
you are enough,
you can do it, and
Jesus loves you!
"The great thing to remember is that though our feelings come and go God's love for us does not." ~ C.S. Lewis
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